Three reasons I need to come out

Posted on February 16, 2012


Tonight I sat down with some friends and talked about how and why I want to come out. They are Christians and they aren’t really affirming, but they are supportive. Here’s what I know. I want to come out because:

1. I want to be open and honest about who I am, with family, friends, and even random people who ask me about girlfriends or whatever.

2. I am a political activist at heart, and I believe that nothing will change when people don’t know that they know gay people.

3. I will never find Mr. Right/my Prince Charming if I’m not out, because

a) I don’t like the taste of alchohol, and I would rather die than dance (ergo, no clubs).

b) I’m a conservative Christian (not many gay guys want to date me).

c) I have no gaydar, so I may have met Mr. Right and walked past him.

I had originally thought of just putting up my “interested in” on Facebook and facing the backlash. Then I decided that my family deserved to hear it first. I love my family, they’ve been my greatest friends. However, I know that my mom’s side will wall me off (shun me) and I’m struggling. Do they really deserve to know who I am? It is because of them that I lived in fear for a decade and a half of my life. All of the self-rejection that I felt came from their interpretation of the Bible. My transition into being a gay Christian was pretty simple once I finally realized that they weren’t perfect.

My struggle with gay being wrong was tied to this: Jesus was asked, “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment?” and his reply simplified the 10 Commandments, the Levitcal Code, and everything down to two rules.

37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

I had always attributed the law against homosexuality as being part of loving God- you love him, therefore you obey him. However, if you follow that logic, that means that anything could be deemed right or wrong and , without thinking, attributed to loving God. It is a faith that is easily misleading and can produce religious persecution.

Knowing this, I think that all laws fit under the second. The 10 Commandments are all good, they help run a civilized society. Treating others the way that you want to be treated prevents all sorts of bad things. It should prevent Christians from joining in: homophobia, slavery, and conquest. Unfortunately, religiosity often gets the better of us. We need to constantly seek the Holy Spirit’s direction while studying the Bible. With our human nature, too often we feel that we can just pull an isolated verse out of the Bible to justify what we feel, rather than reading it in context to know if what we feel is godly.

Sometimes I think that the early church did better without the Bible. It didn’t get put together til centuries after the church began, and it was over a millennium until the lay people could read it. Now we think that we can decipher God’s will through study, and we forget to ask for the Spirit’s guidance.

Interesting thing to note:

John 16: 12-13a “I have much more to say to you, more than you can now bear. 13 But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth.”

Jesus actually told the church that there was stuff they weren’t ready to hear. That goes contrary to a lot of churches’ teachings that every answer can be found in the Bible. To me, this says that we need to keep listening to the Spirit. Perhaps he has something to say to the church about the LGBT community.

Posted in: Coming Out, Theology