Picnic and a Wedding

Posted on October 9, 2011

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Today was a beautiful day! I took my friends to the park and we had a picnic. Sandwiches, salad, and cinnamon rolls, yum! Our dog chased squirrels around the park and some of my friends played bocce ball.

While they were busy I took aside an old college friend, a girl who I love dearly, and told her about my newfound freedom. It is amazing to me how many of my Christian friends have already reached acceptance of gay people. I don’t know if it is because they’ve known me or what, but I had always thought that they believed like me- that homosexuality is wrong- and it is such a relief when they accept me without reservation.

Later this afternoon we went to a wedding (two of our college friends were getting married to each other). It was a conservative Mennonite wedding, including a message about wives “submitting” to their husbands. The pastor also preached that husbands were to love their wives, which is the other side of the coin- a servant-like love that considers her above his needs. Anyways, I was imagining the outraged reaction of all my feminist friends and it made me smile a bit.

After the wedding I was mixing with more college friends, and the wife of one of my professors asked me if I was thinking about changing my marital status. I love when people ask this question without specifying sex, so that I don’t have to correct them. I’m still a bit nervous about being cut off from all of my old friends/old life. At some point I’m going to have to have to be brave and just tell the world who I am, but it is nerve-wracking.

I was expecting a lot of those questions at my sister’s wedding, but I only got a few, and managed to elude a deep discussion. Besides, I am in grad school, and working, and I’m not sure if I even have time to date. However, if I do bump into Mr. Right, I’ll make time for him.

Well everybody, the next step in my re-coming out journey is to tell my bro and sister-in-law. When I told them about my struggle with same-sex attraction I just kinda blurted out, “I’m gay,” and ran, so I already know what my sister-in-law’s reaction will be. She cried quite a bit. I hope that they’ll be able to get over it.

When I was young my brother never understood me. I feel bad that he couldn’t have a normal brother who would enjoy sports, and would have fought with him and then gone back to being bros. I wasn’t like that. I hated sports, and held grudges over stupid little things. I was scared of him finding out I was gay, and we didn’t get along until he moved out of the house. Now he’s living in one of the few gay marriage states and I would love to move out there and maybe get married and settle down nearby.

If you think about, say a prayer for me and them!

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Posted in: Coming Out