I regret playing “straight” in college

Posted on September 28, 2011

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I have actually come out to friends from different colleges, but at the Christian university I attended, I didn’t tell any of my close friends about my “struggles.” I miss livng in the dorms, hanging out with my guys/gals and so I decided to go visit them. Because of this huge thing going on in my life, I decided to tell a few of them what had happened with my theological shift.

The first friend I told was this awesome guy who had tried to convince me that the Bible didn’t condemn gay people. He had no idea that I was gay, and I had shut him down. He was ok with it, and didn’t really have to question me because he had already been leaning that way, so we talked about it for a few minutes and then just talked about life/classes/etc.

The second friend was this awesome gal who already knew, about as soon as she met me. She loves gay people, but thinks that the Bible condemns it. She asked me, “So do you think you’re still going to heaven?” Obviously if I didn’t, then I wouldn’t be here (theologically). We talked it out and she still loves me, but I would probably call her an acceper, versus an affirmer.

The third (and last) person I talked with was my spiritual guide/mom at the college. (As a transfer student we had been put in groups and she led mine). She loves me, accepts me, and said she often wondered why it wouldn’t be okay for two people who love each other to be together. She’s still confused about the scriptures, but is okay with me being who I am.

There was another friend who I would’ve liked to tell, but I just know we would have argued non-stop, because we already have before, over little things. We do it for fun, especially on our trips back from church, and those are some of my fond memories. He was studying a more theological track, whereas I was more liberal arts, and I like to think that I kept him sharp- made him think more deeply about what he was being taught. I don’t take everything the pastor says at face value. I tend to chew on it in my mind, and look at it from different angles before becoming convinced.

I still want to come out to my brother and his wife before Thanksgiving, but I prefer to do these things in person, and they live too far away. I may have to Skype them… we’ll see.

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Posted in: Coming Out