Telling my parents I’m GAY

Posted on September 6, 2011

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Well I saw my parents this weekend. After spending some great time together, I re-came out to them.

Backstory: My parents found out I was gay when I was 18 ( a senior in high school). At the time, I still thought homosexuality was wrong, and had been in a self-torturing mode for almost 10 years. That was about six and a half years ago, and now I feel like God has brought me to a new place- as a Gay Christian.

I opened with “There’s something I need to talk to you about that I don’t want to talk to you about, because I don’t think you’re going to like it.” I proceeded to outline the thoughts that had inspired me to research the “clobber passages,” and explained my position.

My parents response was probably average (from what I’ve read about coming out stories). They disagree with me (which I expected), they are afraid that I’m not listening to God and that I’m not a “real Christian.” I explained my wanting to be open to my extended family and church community, and they discouraged it. They think of it in terms of someone sharing perverse lusts with the church- it should be something dealt with privately. However, I obviously feel like it is my identity, and I want to bring the church into a discussion. If my parents were any clue to how they’ll respond- I’ll be very unsuccessful.

They both refuse to read anything that would disagree with their current views, my dad said that with the internet you can always find someone who agrees with you. My mom said that sex is only a part of marriage, and basically said that I should get married to some girl anyways.

Anyways… they didn’t kick me out of the family, they didn’t cut me off financially (it’s hugely¬†embarrassing, but I’m still dependent on them for support), and they still love me.

My mom sobbed so hard, and for that, and the idea of damaging relationships with my aunts, uncles, and cousins – I wish it were possible for me to change. We prayed together before thy went home, with plans to meet with our pastor the next time I can make a trip home.

Next on the list for my “re-coming out” : My brother and sister-in-law. (The first time I came out to them I just said “I’m gay” and then ran away, so I have a little bit of an idea what is going to happen).

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Posted in: Coming Out