Getting married soon? NO, dang it- you won’t let me!!

Posted on July 17, 2011

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So my little sister is getting married soon. I asked her if I got married if she’d come to my wedding and she said, “I don’t know.” One of my close friends said something similar and asked, “Does going to the wedding mean you support it?”

Do people ask these questions before going to a straight wedding? And if your reasons for not going are moral, do you inform the bride(s)/groom(s)? Because lots of people don’t go for less judgmental reasons such as distance, being busy, or feeling out of touch with bride/groom.

Anyways, I got on this subject because I mentioned to my manager at work that my “baby sister” was getting married. She inquired how old my sister was, and asked if I thought she was old enough. I said I thought she was ready, and that my older brother had gotten married at around the same time. (Also, both my brother and sister are/will be married to spouses who have been in the same college and programs that we three siblings have gone through).

So of course my manager asks me why I’m not married.

I always provoke the questions when I mention the whole same college/same age parallelism between younger sis and older bro, but I do it anyway. I always get told that I “missed out,” or get asked why I’m not married (or both).

So instead of saying, “Because I’m gay,” or, “You voted against it,” I sort of lamely say something about Paul’s views on singleness, or how I feel “called” to be single (that used to be hugely ironic to me). I did it again tonight. I hate lying, and I keep thinking that someday I’ll just say it blatantly, but now that I have accepted I am gay, Christian, and okay with both, I have to start considering the possibility that I might actually get married one day.

I see a strange church (because I can’t get married in the one where I was born, raised, and grew up). I see empty pews on my side of the church, sparse guests on my groom’s side (I have few friends and no family who would come, and he probably will have a similar situation).

Awkward problem… do we both walk down the aisle? Maybe we’ll have the groomsmen and groomsmaids walk in together, and then we’ll come up the side aisle and meet in the middle front? – How do you fit this into the glorious traditional structure?

 

Sorry, jumbled post… basically, pre-wedding jitters/anxieties/jealousies/wishes.

So what do you envision for your wedding?
OR what did you do for your wedding?

Would you go to a straight friend’s wedding if you knew they wouldn’t go to yours?

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